1. Appreciate effort no matter if they win or lose
2. Always practice to build competence
3. Be curiosity and grow your mind
Things we can do to help kids feel better about themselves.
"The enemies of confidence are discouragement and fear,". So, as a parent, it's your job to encourage and support your child as they attempt to tackle difficult tasks.
For Kids
Here are things parents can do to help kids feel good about themselves:
Help & Encourage your child learn to do things. ...
When teaching kids how to do things, show and help them at first. ...
Praise your child, but do it wisely. ...
Be a good role model. ...
Ban harsh criticism. ...
Focus on strengths. ...
Let kids help and give, praise
Teach kids it’s okay to make mistakes this is a part of life
It’s okay to be different, and to respect each other’s differences
Never let your fears determine who you are.
Don’t get upset about things
You’re allowed to fail
Praise perseverance
Let kids find their passion
Celebrate effort
Set them up for success
Kid’s self-esteem
Kids with self-esteem:
feel liked and accepted
feel confident
feel proud of what they can do
think good things about themselves
believe in themselves
Kids with low self-esteem:
are self-critical and hard on themselves
feel they're not as good as other kids
think of the times they fail rather than when they succeed
lack confidence
doubt they can do things well
Why Self-Esteem Matters
· Kids who feel good about themselves have the confidence to try new things. They are more likely to try their best. They feel proud of what they can do. Self-esteem helps kids cope with mistakes. It helps kids try again, even if they fail at first. As a result, self-esteem helps kids do better at school, at home, and with friends.
· Kids with low self-esteem feel unsure of themselves. If they think others won't accept them, they may not join in. They may let others treat them poorly. They may have a hard time standing up for themselves. They may give up easily, or not try at all. Kids with low self-esteem find it hard to cope when they make a mistake, lose, or fail. As a result, they may not do as well as they could.
As kids grow, self-esteem can grow too. Any time kids try things, do things, and learn things can be a chance for self-esteem to grow.
make progress toward a goal
learn things at school
make friends and get along
learn skills — music, sports, art, cooking, tech skills
practice favorite activities
help, give, or be kind
get praise for good behaviors
try hard at something
do things they're good at and enjoy
are included by others
feel understood and accepted
get a prize or a good grade they know they've earned
This can happen when kids:
Your self-esteem checklist
Here are some of the things that the Canadian Mental Health Association says you can do to help raise confident kids.
Feel special. It’s imporant for you to help your children discover their own unique talents and qualities, and to value their own strengths. But also teach them that feeling special doesn’t mean feeling better than others.
Set goals. Teach your kids to work towards a goal and to have pride in their accomplishments. Provide them with opportunities for success.
Try, try again. Encourage your children to try things their own way, face challenges and take risks.
To focus on building confidence and self-esteem at home, praise specific traits and behaviors, like "I just love how you used your imagination to make up that fun game! You can be so creative!" Remember that when praising, it's important that the praise is selective and genuine. If you are trumpeting "good job!" every five seconds, it becomes meaningless.
Praise specific traits and behaviours.
Celebrate Differences in Others
Around this age, children are becoming more aware of how they are the same and different, so you can also weave into daily conversations how it's really cool that everyone is unique. Ask your child what they think makes them different from other kids, and what they like or don't like about those differences. Include what you love about their differences. This consistent positive messaging from parents plays an important role in each child feeling confident with strong self-esteem.
Tone & language
“ That was brave”
“You’ve got this”
“ I believe in you”
“ You can do hard things”
“ Repeat after me, I can do it”
As the parent, you have faith in your child’s ability. When you openly communicate that faith in them it will inspire it within themselves.
4. “I believe in you.”
5. “You can do hard things.”
When the going gets tough the obstacles can seem insurmountable. So this direct phrase will tell them exactly what they need to hear—acknowledgment that this is hard work and that they are capable.
6. “No matter what happens, I love you.”
Our children need to hear words that communicate unconditional love. That means providing reassurance of our love—regardless of the outcome.
7. “Let’s try it together.”
Sometimes we all need a helping hand. Be sure they know that you will be that hand when they need it.
Ask questions. When you see them do something hard, say, “How did you manage that? How can you do it again?”
8. “How’d you do that?”
9. “That sounds awesome, can you tell me more?”
Take it one step further than just noticing their effort—ask them to elaborate. Then hear the the pride in their voice when they explain.
10. “How can I help?”
When they get really stuck, don’t be afraid to offer your support. Let them know that the offer to help is on the table.
11. “Give it your best.”
We will never win it all, do it all, or be it all. But we can give it our best. Let’s teach our kids this lesson.
12. “I know it’s hard, but I have seen you do it before.”
It can seem overwhelming, but let’s give them evidence of when they have been successful before. This will instill the confidence that they can do it again.
13. “You are enough.”
It doesn’t matter what the outcome—they need to know they are enough just the way they are.
14. “You make me proud.”
Straight and to the point—you can never tell your child this enough.
15. “Even when we get frustrated, we still love each other.”
Feelings like frustration, anger and hopelessness are all common human emotions. And despite these big feelings we will stand by the side of our children with unconditional love.
16. “I wonder what would happen if…”
Try to evoke curiosity and a new way of thinking by wondering about the possibilities.
Kids love learning new words. Teach them about grit, resilience and perseverance to help them reach towards these goals.
17. “Do you know what grit means?”
18. “Want to hear a story?”
When the going gets tough the obstacles can seem insurmountable. So this direct phrase will tell them exactly what they need to hear—acknowledgment that this is hard work and that they are capable.
19. “Do you want to try something crazy?”
Challenge your children with things they think are beyond reach (even if it sounds a little crazy). They might surprise you and themselves.
20. “Sometimes new things can seem scary, but they can be exciting.”
Young children tend to cling toward people and environments that are familiar. But if we emphasize how exciting and joyful that new experiences can be, we can encourage the confidence to venture out of the comfort zone.
21. “I know you tried your hardest and I am proud of that effort.”
When we see them working hard and giving it their all, we can recognize this effort. After all, life is about the journey, not the destination.
22. “It looks like you are curious about this, let’s take a deeper look.”
Encourage curiosity and exploration in children of all ages. As a result, they will be more likely to seek out new information and experiences with confidence.
23. “Sometimes we make mistakes, and that is how we learn.”
Start the conversation about growing, changing and taking risks. With each challenge and accomplishment, the sense of self-esteem will grow.
24. “How did you challenge yourself today?”
Start the conversation about growing, changing and taking risks. With each challenge and accomplishment, the sense of self-esteem will grow.
25. “Repeat after me, ‘I can do it.'”
Positive affirmations are powerful—they can rewire the brain. When we teach our children to use positive affirmations from an early age they will reap the benefits as they grow.